a quick note about NOT having the internet at your home…and having to wait to get to a computer to write any posts…which then turns into an essay about blogs, connections, and emotions….
knowing i have this blog has created an even more detailed catalog of the thoughts that occur…it causes me to dissect and analyze even FURTHER than i normally do – knowing it could be fuel for the launch of another vehicle of thought. writing a blog is much like sending unmanned probes through outer space…will it hit anything? will it make a difference? will anyone else know it’s there? and really…what counts, what matters in all of that is that it’s launched…that the possibility is there. we reach for discovery and prove our merit when we are brave enough to send something “out there” – whether the far reaches of space, or the tangled web of cyberspace. this tangled web is filled with so much thought, so much emotion. it is a dumping ground of angst and sorrow, and a glorious proving ground for love and truth. i have no idea how small this world will get. every day there are more ways to connect, and, thusly, more ways to make a point by disconnecting. from twitter to yahoo im…there’s always a way to make a statement. individuals end up being a piece of EVERYTHING you do. you carry them with you on your phone, they greet you when you sit down to your computer. and, when you want them out of your life – it almost becomes some kind of cutting ritual. your heart bleeds for those you cut out due to crushed friendships, loves, dreams, etc. it takes so much effort, and the effect lasts…for who knows how long. (obviously, my life and those lives surrounding me have been in the business of cutting relationships lately…thusly the musings…)
so, somehow i’ve gone from the idea of outer space and probes (i really don’t like that word…but satellite isn’t really accurate…*sigh*) to a very emotional look into the connections we form through an entire universe built on technology.
before we could “check up” on one another…did everyone have to trust one another more? did we have to make the time we spent together more meaningful? was there less “taking for granted”? was there more understanding? imagine only being able to talk to those you care about by phone, by letter, or in person..or…hell…let’s go back further – just letters and face-to-face. how would you treat others in your life? would you tell them more? would you tell them less? would you trust them more? i wonder if that world was based less on inference…on analyzing secret messages in statuses and twitters…on wondering what blog was about whom – and more on exactly what was said, and what actions they took.
was it truly a world of patience and trust?
i guess this is what i send out into cyberspace tonight…these musings, these questions, this mood of wondering at what we’ve become.
